Crazy, Complaining, People

        Complaining is one of my worst pet peeves.

        I cannot stand someone who likes to complain. I know this shouldn't bother me and I shouldn't care if other people are complaining and stuff, yet it gets on my nerves so bad. One thing you guys may not know about me is that I suffer with panic attacks and anxiety (will be making a post on this soon). And maybe this is just me, but I really dislike it when someone uses panic attack for something that isn't really a panic attack, like "Oh my God, I have a test tomorrow, I'm going to have a panic attack." This really bothers me, because you really don't understand how terrible panic attacks are.

     The nerve some people have, to complain about something when you know that, that person, has it so much harder than you.

     Another thing that really bothers me, is when adults complain. Sometimes adults can be even worse than kids. Especially in sports. They say, this is wrong, my kid didn't play enough..etc. I hate that. Those crazy parents who complain about every single thing. It drives me crazy. And sometimes adults are able to create just as much gossip as kids do, and they tell us to be mature...

      Sorry this wasn't the longest post...but I'll be writing one on anxiety and panic shortly. And I'm sure that will be long.

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Secrets. Embarrassing Secrets.

       I am obsessed with Harry Potter. Like no, you don't even understand, I dream about Harry Potter, I think about Harry Potter like everyday, and watch at least one Harry Potter movie each 2 days. I have never told this to anyone, as I guess its considered "nerdy". So for those of you who aren't so into Harry Potter, I'm sorry you might as well not read this because I just wanna talk to someone about it.

       I am the master at Harry Potter scene it. When I play with my family, the rules are that I have to go around the board twice since I get all the questions right. But I always win anyways, but now nobody ever wants to play with me. So now I thought I should just put some basic Harry Potter questions in here...you guys can hide the answers and ask your friends or yourself these questions.

      Some super basic questions...
1. Who does Harry accuse of trying to steal the philosopher's stone in book 1?
A: Severus Snape

2. Where is the entrance to the Chamber of Secrets?
A: In the girls bathroom where Moaning Myrtle lives.

3. Who was the Potter's secret keeper before they died?
A: Peter Pettigrew

4. Who did Hermione take to the Yule Ball in book 4?
A: Victor Krum

5. Bonus:
How many times a week did Harry & Ginny write to James when he was at his first year at Hogwarts?A: 3 times a week

       I literally know everything about it. Well not everything...but I honestly take so many quizzes online about Harry Potter and always get an "O". (Basically an "A" in wizard world). I am overly obsessed. I daydream about having a relationship with Ronald Weasley in class, and while I'm sleeping...I watch a Harry Potter movie like everyday, and read a few chapters of one of the books every night.

     Ok, I'm going to tell you something super embarrassing. So once I went to a sleepover at my friends house. We were all exhausted from this party that we all fell asleep pretty early. But I found that I couldn't fall asleep, and I didn't know why. Then it hit me, I hadn't read my few chapters of Harry Potter. So her brother, had all the books. So I snuck into her brothers room at like 4 in the morning...and locked myself in the bathroom. I literally sat there for hours reading the half-blood prince. Once it was around 6 'o clock, I decided I should probably sleep, then I got woken up at 7 'o clock...from now on I always bring my own Harry Potter book, whenever I go for a sleepover.

      Wow.
      I just admitted that in front of thousands of people.

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What Is Considered "Cool"

         We all have this definition of "cool" that society has locked into our brains. For example, for some reason being a complete genius isn't considered "cool". Which is so ridiculous, because if your a genius I totally envy you as it takes me a lot of effort to even pass. Why are certain things this way? Why is being good at something not "cool", or wearing a certain brand not considered "cool".

         The worst thing about this is that we actually believe this, that being a genius is not cool, wearing certain things isn't cool...we actually listen to what these people are saying. I honestly just want everyone to redefine cool. Redefine the things you see as "cool". Go around telling people, who aren't usually the definition of "cool" that they are. (Haha I've said "cool" so much in this post...) It's important that we understand, that we have opinions, and sometimes people have an opinion which is different from yours, but that doesn't mean you should change yours.

       I've really wanted to put this post out there, but I was scared to think of what your opinions were. But then I remembered that the whole point of this post was to prove that "cool" is just a label people put on you when they don't know what to call you.

       I hope this post has widened your visions towards being "cool".

       Redefine "Cool".

       Cool is when someone is themselves.

 ♕

Summer 2014

   
 Summer is supposed to be relaxing,
                                                   fun,
                                                     chill.

      But summer is really just an excuse to have a bunch of parties. Yeah, sometimes parties are fun. But not the kind of parties where everyone is drunk and crazy. So basically...sometimes I feel like I need school work. (I KNOW CRAZY RIGHT?!) But I need something to keep me busy, I don't wanna fall into a bad place in summer.


        Another reason I was school work...is I need an excuse not to hang out with people. I much rather spend my day on twitter and tumblr than go interact with people. And now I can't pull the "I have too much homework" card. But it's ok, I mostly just ignore people's texts and calls. I'm not saying I don't like summer, 'cause that would just be insane, I love summer. But I just need something to keep me occupied, because lately I've been getting bored.


        Something that a lot of people don't know about me...well everyone actually besides my family. Is I play guitar, piano and sing. I honestly love music, I took voice lessons for years and performed in front of a few hundred people, until I stopped taking voice lessons because I thought it wasn't considered "cool". But now I love to just teach myself a song on the guitar or piano, sing a bit and give a little concert for my family. This is something that I've done a lot this summer. As I've been avoiding people.

       
       Summer parties are the worst. It's just the time to get into trouble, because theres no school. I've been avoiding all party invitations. I probably will go threw the whole summer without going to one. If anyone asks I'm away in Florida :)

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Thank You

       I started this blog basically because I wanted to be able to ramble to people...I needed some way to share my feelings and stories.

       I honestly didn't expect it to be this much of a success. Within 2 days I have over 1000 views from countries such as Canada, U.S.A, Slovakia, Germany and more. This actually means a lot to me. Just seeing how much success I have gotten within 2 days, makes me super excited for the future.

      Thanks for dealing with my rambles, and for all your support :)

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What Is It To Be Alone?

         It's funny how when your so called "popular" you seem to have a lot of "friends". But honestly I feel more alone then ever. For those of you who have no friends. I guess I feel ya. Because if you have fake friends...it's not really like having friends...right? I guess I just need to ramble for a little, and sadly this blog is the only place I can freely do it.

         I don't think I've ever had a conversation with one of my "friends" before about me or them. It's always about other people. It's about what someone was wearing, how cake someone's makeup was, who someone hooked up with, if a boy likes someone, how much of a "loser" someone is...etc. I don't even know what my "friends" favourite colours are, if they played soccer when they were younger, if they used to have a pet or are good singers and love to play the piano. I don't know. The only thing I do, is go to their house, play on my phone or we watch a movie. Every so often well tell each other that a guy texted us, and we'd ask for advice.

         Is this really how your supposed to have friends? Only caring about guys and how good you look? I don't know...

       I wish I could get a one way ticket out of the inner circle.

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Social Media...

       Social media...for kids, it's just something else that seems to put pressure on us. First of all apparently if you don't have social media you aren't considered "cool". But then there's pressure for what kind of pictures you post, how pretty you are, what type of filter you have on your photo, how many likes you get, how many followers you have...etc.

        The worst thing is that kids will judge you for those things, if you only get 70 likes on a picture...you'll go to school next day and your "friend" will be like:

"I noticed you only got 70 likes on your last picture...bummer"

*deletes picture right away*

     The sad part is that most of us actually do delete the picture. I think the whole purpose of social media has totally been defeated. The purpose is to interact with your friends and family. Well were doing that...but I guess were using something like Instagram, as a sort of scale to see how pretty someone is. I bet you guys always pull out your phone to show someone how "ugly" or "pretty" someone is. And we all use the amount of followers almost against people. It's as if the more followers you have the higher your ranked on the popularity scale.

          I honestly am one of those people who really don't get why we need social media. Texting I understand...we need to keep in contact especially incase of emergency. But instagram honestly doesn't make sense...post a picture so that people can tell you how ugly or pretty you are! Who are they to tell you? Now I'm just going to say that if I ever told any of my "friends" my opinions on social media they would hate me forever. The worst part is, when your popular, the only comments your going to get is your so pretty...even if your not (not being rude, everyone is beautiful in their own way). It's like people are terrified to write "your a bitch and are honestly not that pretty". Well first of al that's not very nice, no matter how mean that person is because then your just as bad as them. But people are scared of not commenting "gorgeous" on someones picture who is popular because it's as if they have more power over you, which is ridiculous...because this is high school not the royal kingdom.

I'm gonna end this post with my favourite quote/story:


“When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.”
-John Lennon

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Is It Meant To Be?

        In the past I had a boyfriend, he was perfect. For the first time in a while, I had felt happy. Like maybe high school was worth it. We were together for 1 year, it was great. Everything was fine, well as I thought.

       I guess why I'm writing this post, is because I never told anyone how this situation made me feel, and how much it hurt. I really actually did like him, and like any high school crush, you imagine each other running off into the sunset and getting married, but that wasn't the reality.

       The summer of 2013. Everything collapsed. I got an anonymous text, with a picture of my boyfriend making out with another girl. I was broken. Yet, I pretended everything was fine. I told my "friends" that I never liked him, that I didn't care, that I was gonna break up with him anyways. I guess I was just humiliated. Humiliated that I, could be broken. but I was. The rest of my summer was obviously ruined. I blew off my friends telling them I had plans, when actually I just didn't want to leave my bed. Now, this isn't the worst part. Yes, I was broken, had a bit of a high school break down...but the worst was that I still had to brake up with someone that I liked, all my friends were like; oh this will be no problem, you don't like him anyways. But I really did. I went up to him...and said...

Me: "What did you do this summer?"
Him: "Nothing much, I hung out by the pool and stuff."

He lied right to my face.

Me: "Tell me you didn't hook up with another girl."

I was getting a little emotional now...slightly crying...not really able to get the words out my mouth.

Him: "I, I..."

         So basically after that, you can imagine I ran to the bathroom with my mascara watering down my face. I was humiliated, and broken. Even though I knew he had cheated on me, part of me still wished it wasn't true. But the reality was it was.

         None of my friends came to check on how I was. Probably none of them cared.

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What Are Real Friends?

           I was thinking...what are real friends supposed to do, act or whatever. I don't know if I'm even making sense right now, but sometimes I think my friends are just fake. They're basically using you for secrets and guys. That's all they care about, because in the life of the popular girls thats all that matters.



Rules of popularity:
1. Must have a boyfriend
2. Must wear makeup
3. Must be pretty
4. Must be a total bitch
5. Can't be too smart, can't be too dumb
6. Must hook up with guys at dances
7. Must drink
8. Must have over 400 followers on instagram
9. Must have lots and lots of secrets



            Now I realize I'm totally just insulting myself right now, but maybe thats what I should do. I've been mean to so many people, and yet every time I try to make things right, I find myself back inside the inner circle of popularity. I can't get out. I've never experienced being able to trust someone 100%. I don't have any friends who I can tell everything to. I find it kind've sad honestly. I wish I had friends, yes I pretend they're my friends, but truthfully I find myself not being able to tell them somethings.

Maybe I'm just meant to be alone.

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Popularity?

        The truth is, I've never experienced the awkward life of no attention. I'm one of those plastic, bitchy brats. Sorry, it's the truth. I just live that life full of drama and boyfriends. The truth is popularity is just so overrated in high school.

        For those of you who envy the popular life. Trust me, don't. Once you get into this inner circle, there is no, way out. Just trust me on this one girls, and guys...I much rather live the life of invisibility. I really would like that. To not have to care how much makeup I wear, or what outfit I wear to school. So this blog is for the people who envy the popular life, for those of you who wanna know how it's like. The truth is, it's hell, well at least my life is. So here I am, this popular brat who is gonna tell you about her life and the life of being popular.

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